


I'm Counting on a Memory (To Get Me Outta Here)

by graytheglowinggay



Series: X-Men: My Self-Indulgent Gay Nonsense [1]
Category: Alpha Flight, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Aftermath, Age of X-Man (Marvel Comics), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Background Poly, Background Relationships, F/M, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, Memory Related, Multi, Open Marriage, Polyamory, Title from an Elton John Song, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23498536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graytheglowinggay/pseuds/graytheglowinggay
Summary: The Age of X-Man has ended, and Northstar has returned home.Primarily Kylestar focused, with some implied Icestar/Kyleicestar and Scott/Logan/Jean (whatever their ship name is). This takes place before House of X/Powers of X.Title from "Home Again" by Elton John. (Yes, I know it's obvious, leave my gay ass be).
Relationships: Jean Grey/Logan (X-Men), Jean Grey/Logan (X-Men)/Scott Summers, Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Jean-Paul Beaubier/Bobby Drake, Jean-Paul Beaubier/Kyle Jinadu, Jean-Paul Beaubier/Kyle Jinadu/Bobby Drake, Kyle Jinadu/Bobby Drake, Logan (X-Men)/Scott Summers, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: X-Men: My Self-Indulgent Gay Nonsense [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693336
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	I'm Counting on a Memory (To Get Me Outta Here)

Jean-Paul never considered how easy it had been to forget.

It had been two weeks since Nathaniel Grey had been defeated, and all the X-Men had been returned to their regular lives. Kyle said he’d gotten a visit from Scott and Logan. After Jean-Paul had vanished, along with the rest of his team.

* * *

It had been two days since his husband’s disappearance when Kyle Jinadu-Beaubier got a knock on the door. He looked through the peephole; experience had taught him to do as much. Two men, one tall, with sunglasses tinted red, one short and hairy and dressed in flannel. He opened the door.

“Please tell me you’ve got good news.” Kyle said.

Scott and Logan looked at each other.

Kyle sighed. “Why am I not surprised?” he said. “Come in.”

Kyle walked into the kitchen and took a seat. He gestured for the other two men to do the same.

“So, why didn’t you two vanish?” Kyle asked.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out.” Scott said.

Kyle stood up from the table. “Jean-Paul… he’s never been a team player. Not with Alpha Flight, certainly not with the X-Men. Now, I appreaciate the work that you all do, for serious, I do, but, well,” he let out a mirthless chuckle. “Scott, you’re a founding member of the team. Logan, you’re… well, you’re certainly something. But you weren’t there. And my husband was. And he’s gone. And you’re still here.” He sat back down.

“Kyle, trust me when I say that Logan and I are working night and day to solve this whole situation.” Scott said. He put a hand on Kyle’s shoulder. Kyle shrugged it off.

“Do you realize how hard it is to be married to a mutant? To an X-Man? Jean-Paul, the love of my life, is missing, and all I can hear is how we’re better off with people like him gone, how it’s scientific progress to prevent people like him from ever being born! I can’t collect life insurance, because I don’t have a death certificate, and if I get one, it’s like I’m saying that he’s—” With the final sentence, his voice broke, and he let out a choked sob.

“Jean’s gone too. Don’t think we don’t understand.” Logan said.

“Oh, of course she is. How many times has she disappeared or died and just come back to life with that Phoenix nonsense?” Kyle said.

Kyle could hear the  _ snikt _ of Logan’s claws. “Now you listen here—”

“Why are you lecturing me on Jean-Paul, Logan? Didn’t you kill him?” Kyle yelled.

“Kyle, he was mind-controlled. You of all people should understand—” Scott began.

“When I was under Unity’s control I never killed anyone!”

“He got better, didn’t he?”

“So does Jean!”

“Can you two just stop?” Scott yelled. “We’re all grieving. Fighting like this doesn’t get us anywhere. Kyle, I know you’re hurting. But let me tell you this. Your husband isn’t dead.”

“Then what is he?”

Scott paused. “I don’t know. But we’re gonna find him.”

* * *

Everything in the apartment was unusually neat when Jean-Paul returned home. The sink was empty of dishes, the bed was made.

“I know how you hate a messy home.” Kyle said.

“How long was I gone?” Jean-Paul asked.

Kyle paused. “I stopped keeping track of the days after a while. Was better for me that way.” he said.

“I couldn’t remember you.” Jean-Paul said. “Every moment I had with you he stole from me.” He put his hand on his husband’s face. “But he couldn’t erase my feelings for you. Every day, I woke up in an empty bed and every day, I felt your absence. I couldn’t give it a name, let alone a face, but I felt it.”

“You said it was a world where love was forbidden.” Kyle said. “Sounds familiar.”

“It wasn’t just romantic love.” Jean-Paul said. “Family, friendship, all taboo and frowned upon. Any bond that went beyond simple comradery was a reason for suspicion and doubt.”

“Did you… love anyone?” Kyle asked.

“How could I?” Jean-Paul said. “I was completely committed to my job. I would never have dones anything that was against the rules like that.”

“And what was your job?” Kyle asked.

“Catching and punishing those who broke the rules.”

“The rules of love?”

Jean-Paul sighed. “Yes. I am not proud of it.”

“Did you ever punish anyone who was… gay?”

“No. I have a feeling that they kept those assignments way from Bobby and I. It would be too much for our conditioning.” Jean-Paul said.

“Bobby?”

“He was a member of the same agency I was.”

“I can’t imagine him doing anything like that.” Kyle said.

“He was different. We all were.” Jean-Paul replied.

“Did he remember anything?” Kyle said. “About his sexuality, I mean.”

“Probably. But it’s not like he’d say anything.”

“Not even to you?”

“No.”

“I can’t imagine it.” Kyle said. “Just… forgetting that kind of thing.” He sat down on the bed. Jean-Paul sat down next to him.

“It wasn’t just like forgetting. It was more… insidious than that. It wasn’t just my memories of you. It was any memory that could remind me of you. I remembered skiing, but not Northstar Extreme Sports. Because that’s how I met you. I had no memories of fighting Unity, or Karma’s sister, because it involved you. There was no precision to it. Entire months of my life were gone. I couldn’t even remember how I ended up in New York with the X-Men in the first place.”

“So I’m that powerful, huh?” Kyle said with a slight smile.

“Love is that powerful. You know how Bobby got his memories back?”

“How?”

“I called him ‘otter-pop’.” Jean-Paul said.

Kyle laughed. “That is pretty brilliant.” He paused. “Where’s Bobby, anyway?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should give him a call, invite him over.” Kyle said.

“I will. But right now, I just want you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm back with another work. So, in the super long accidental hiatus that I took, I got very into Marvel Comics. Not the movies, but the good stuff. I'll still be writing some MCU-ish fanfic, specifically for the Avengers, but I'm a really big fan of the comic book X-Men. Especially since, unlike the cowardly MCU, they actually have gay characters and gay relationships.


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